How To Remain A Virgin

Is it so bad to be a virgin? I was one for many years. Many many years.

Then . . . well, all hell broke loose.

Actually, according to Merriam-Webster, I never was a virgin because you must be an unmarried woman devoted to religion or an absolutely chaste young woman or a female animal that has never copulated. Recently the word "person" has been added but that is just petty politics playing into our lives and corrupting the etymological intent but I digress . . .

My point is that it would not have killed me to remain so. Granted my son would not exist and that would be a crime against the world. That aside, how does my huffing and puffing contribute to the welfare of the world?

Now, how to remain a virgin. Just be a man. As a man you were never a virgin. Therefore you cannot lose your virginity.

Therefore you are still a virgin.

And what does this have to do with the picture?

Not a damned thing.